Boldness With a Judge
One thing I have seen this gospel do in my life is put a 'boldness' in me (in the Spirit) that I never knew I had. Maybe it has always been there, and the Jezebel spirit had me so bound that it never could come out. But one thing I know for sure is that the gospel will make you bold - even with a judge! I have come to see, though, that it does not matter who you are talking to, if it is the Spirit of God in you, that boldness will rise up every time you need it to.
In a couple of places in Acts, it talks about them speaking the Word of God with boldness. It also says in Proverbs that the wicked flees when no man pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion. And that righteousness is by faith and it is revealed in the gospel (the death, burial and resurrection).
Back in the early 70's, the Jezebel spirit 'suddenly' hit me one day in class when I was in high school. I had never had a problem of getting up in front of people or reading out loud, etc., prior to that. But that day, this spirit hit me (the Jezebel) when I was asked to read something out loud in class and my voice just started trembling. I had no idea what had happened, because as I said, I never had a problem with that before. And I for sure knew nothing about 'spirits'.
Over the years I would avoid certain situations that would place me in a position for this to happen again. I remember even taking a zero for a grade after that happened, just so I would not have to read or give a speech in class. I also remember (the next year at school) talking to a teacher about this, because we were doing a 'play' in class, and this spirit had such a hold on my 'will' that I did not want to have to get up in front of the class because I was paralyzed with fear. She let me off the hook, but she said, "You know when you go off to college, you will have to do these type of things." I told her I would handle that then! But to myself I said, "I will never let myself get in that kind of situation. And it has taken years to overcome this in my life. When I talk about having to overcome the works that this spirit did to my soul, this is one example, and it has been a big one.
I also know that rebellion produces fear - and I have had more than enough of that in my life, too. And the rebellion was against God - by not obeying Him and serving Him with my spirit in the gospel. And that rebellion produced much fear in my life over the years. Doyle and I have had more than one conversation over 'fear and rebellion' and 'rebellion and fear'. I always said I had fear and then I would rebel, but he would say to me "In the book of Genesis Adam and Eve rebelled, then the fear came." It took me a long time to even see that concerning myself. But I have come to see that all of these bondage's and curses come on us for not obeying God - for doing our own thing - and that is the rebellion.
One thing I noticed, though, is a lot of my fears kept me out of a lot of trouble, and that is the truth. I can look back over situations in my life, that had I not had the fears I had (and only because I was not walking in the Spirit and in the gospel did I have them), I would have gotten myself in a mess on more than one occasion. But I guess it is safe to say that God let these spirits bind me, so that years later He could reveal the gospel to my heart and then I could start overcoming and being delivered out from under these bondage's. But the reason I am telling you all this is to lay a little background for what I am going to share with you, and how God has led me in situations to overcome some of my fears....
Most everyone I have ever met always dreaded getting a jury summons in the mail. And to dread something - fear is usually associated with it. Maybe dread is not the right word for you - but for me it was. But back in the late 70's, this was several years after that spirit had hit me in school that day, I was chosen to sit on a jury in Dallas, Texas. I do not even remember what the case was about. I was so full of fear, and I really did not even want to be in that position, but there was nothing I knew I could do about it. And I was glad when it was over. I have had several jury summons, but that was the only one I was chosen to sit on.
One of JR's close friends (who was the best man in our wedding), is an attorney in Dallas. There was another time when I received another jury summons that I ended up in one of the courts where he was one of the attorneys for a case that was being tried in that courtroom. So since I knew him and he was a personal friend, they let me go.
Then when Travis and Amy were born (2 1/2 years apart), I was automatically disqualified until they turned 10 years of age. That is an exemption listed on the back of the summons. So there was a long period of time where my name was obviously taken off the list. But amazingly enough, not long after Amy turned 11, I was back on the list and shortly thereafter, I received another summons in the mail. This was in the spring of 1995, I believe. And this was the first one I had received since coming to Water of Life Church. We were still living in Dallas County, so once again I had to go downtown.
By this time in my walk with the Lord, I knew that things did not 'just happen' but that the Lord had a purpose for everything that took place in my life, and He was the One who ordered my steps. And when I received this summons in the mail, I knew that God was going to perfect some more of my faith and love, and there would be some more fear for me to overcome. This may sound real silly to some people, but if you are bound with fear - it is real. And I have compassion on people like this, because I know what a bondage it is and it states this in Romans 8 - that fear is bondage. It also says in II Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound (disciplined) mind." Fear is a spirit and God did not give it to us. But thank God there is hope, and it comes by believing the death, burial and resurrection power of the Lord Jesus. Through the gospel, we can overcome anything in our lives because the gospel is the power of God unto our salvation - if we will believe. And if you believe it, you will trust in it, rely on it and adhere to it in every situation you are in. And as this gospel is established in your heart, you will come to see that God has given us power, love and a sound mind!
So anyway, getting back to the jury summons I received in the spring of l995... I went to downtown Dallas and went into the central jury room and waited to see 'when' my name would be called. I was pretty certain in my spirit that it would be because I knew God was leading me down a righteous path to overcome some more fear. Sure enough, they called my name to go to one of the courts upstairs. The Lord had put something in my heart to tell them when they started asking their questions up in that courtroom. (The Lord may tell you something totally different to say, but this is what He put in my heart and I spoke it.) And they asked if there was anyone there who needed to be disqualified for any reason, to please raise your hand. So I raised my hand and these two young attorney's asked me to come up front and tell them what it was. I told them I was a born-again Christian and that I could not * judge anyone for any crime they had committed. I said that Jesus was this man's judge (the man sitting there waiting to be tried), and not me. And if this man had done anything wrong and had asked the Lord to forgive him, then he had been forgiven, and who was I to judge him. They both said, "Are you sure?" And I said, "Yes, I am." They were very nice. The judge sitting in on this case was retired, but he was filling in for another judge that day, and he made some religious remark like, "Well, God uses us to judge these people," but I reaffirmed that He did not set me to judge this man because if he had asked for forgiveness - then he was forgiven. And they said, "You're dismissed." Apparently the young man that was sitting right there waiting to be tried (for driving while intoxicated), heard me say that and I remember him looking at me like, "Wow, thank you, lady!" Who knows, God might have sent me down there for him to hear that, and he just might have asked God to forgive him (if he had done anything wrong) right on the spot. But anyway, that was it and I walked out.
Then in May '96 we moved to Plano - into another county, and sure enough by September '97 here comes another jury summons. When I first looked at that summons, I remember asking the Lord, "Didn't I overcome enough on the last one in Dallas?" Obviously, not enough! The spirits in McKinney, I was going to find out, were much tougher than they had been in Dallas. (Suprising, but true!) So anyway, I went to the Collin County Courthouse in McKinney, Texas. I went into the central jury room where you wait, and we kept waiting and waiting. They told us they were waiting for the judge to get there, and during that time they received a phone call from him saying he was going to be late - he was stuck in traffic. So finally after a while longer he got there. I am glad it was not one of us who was running late - we might not have had it so easy!
When he finally arrived and came into the central jury room, he told us of the qualifications for exemptions and also asked if there was anyone there who believed, for whatever reason, they should be disqualified. I already knew in my heart, once again, what the Lord wanted me to say. (And as I stated earlier, God may have you say something else, this is just what He put in my heart.) So there were a few people who went up ahead of me after we raised our hands. He let one or two of them go, and there was another one he told very kindly to please go and have a seat. So when I went up there, I stated my name and told him I was a born-again Christian and that back in the 70's I had served on a jury in Dallas. I told him that since that time, there had been a change in my heart that the Lord had done, and that I could not *judge any man. Jesus was their judge - not me, and if they had asked forgiveness, then they had been forgiven. This made this judge so mad and angry that he looked at me and very harshly said, "Go sit down!" I mean he had venom in his eyes. But in all honesty, that did encourage me. When you can get a judge mad at you for testifying about Jesus - that is good! I somehow knew that he would see to it that I was selected to go upstairs - because he probably thought I just wanted an easy way out - but that was not so, and he was going to find out later that I meant what I had said. He was also going to see that he did not intimidate me either, because by now I was confident that God was with me. And sure enough when they called the names of those selected - mine was called.
Then we went upstairs and had to wait for another long period of time before they finally called us into the courtroom to question us. You take a seat in the order that they call your name. I was on the fourth row, in the middle. We had not been in there very long, when all of a sudden they dismissed us again and told us we could have a lunch break. (One stall after another.) But my heart was settled and I knew that God was with me, and if He didn't mind this taking all day - I was not going to either. My time is His! I knew I could go get in my car and drive around and pray until we had to be back - and that is what I did.
When we arrived back they called our names and we were seated in a different order. This time I ended up on the second row on the end. There were two young state-appointed attorneys (females) and then the man who was being tried and his attorney (this was a child custody case) - plus the judge who had told me earlier that morning (very harshly) to go sit down. One of the young lady attorneys was the one who started going down the first row asking all the questions.
I'm sure they try to impress you with how they ask their questions, and she worded hers in such a way, I really didn't understand what she was even saying. She did this all the way down the front (first) row. As I was sitting there, I told the Lord, "You better have her change her questions in a way that I can understand what she is saying and so that I can answer them the way I know you want me to, and you better do it now." So she got to the second row and started at the opposite end of where I was sitting and she changed her questions to where they made sense and where I would be able to answer them according to what God had put in my heart. Thank God! So when she got to me, she asked me a few questions and then she said something along these lines, "Msss.(!) Staton, could you, without any partiality, make a fair judgment, given all the evidence, in this case?" And that is when I boldly spoke and said, "Early this morning I told Judge Roach that I was a born-again Christian, and I would not be able to judge any man..." and he had his head looking straight down at his desk where he was seated - he would not even look at me the whole time I was talking. And she cut me off and said, "Well, Msss. Staton, most Christians ...." And the Spirit of God in me stopped her right in the middle of her sentence and I very politely, but firmly said, "I am not talking about 'most' Christians - I am talking about me." And she backed off, and said, "Ohhh, okay - so you would not be able to make a fair judgment on this case given all the evidence?" I said, "That is correct." And that was it - my name was off the list and I knew it. I saw the boldness of the Spirit of God in me and it did bless me. I know in the flesh people are bold all the time, but I appreciate that boldness in the Spirit - knowing it is not you, but the Lord in you.
A couple of months later (November 5, 1997), there was an article that came out in the Dallas paper that this judge was leaving this court that he had been on for 17 years, and was going to Dallas to serve as a justice on the state Court of Appeals, Fifth District. This was a promotion for him, but it blessed me that God had set that up for me to speak to this judge, because he had (has) a reputation for being one 'tough' judge. And now he is out of Collin County and in Dallas (if it went through for him, and I assume it did - I never heard any more about it.)
In that article that came out (I had saved it and I am glad I did for this day) it said that some of his most difficult cases were child custody cases, which is what that one was. But it went on to say, "I have looked men in the eye before and told them they were going to die, and that we were going to kill them. I have told men there was going to be an execution because they had committed capital murder and had been found guilty by a jury that found death for them to be appropriate." It continued on, "But that was easier to me than deciding a child custody case, because doing that would mean deciding for someone who was not able to speak for themselves as an adult and who really depends on me to make the really right decision that will affect the rest of their lives. It is a grave responsibility and the only kind of case I ever lose sleep over or second-guess myself on."
And I have heard that this man is supposedly a Christian. Bound by the Jezebel for sure - and real sick. But I do appreciate the Lord for that day, because I saw I had overcome some more (fear) of people in authority. When you have confidence that it is the Lord who sends you somewhere to speak His Words, you will always get the victory in every situation.
*I want to add here, that judgment will come out of the mouth of God's servants, but unless it is God in you judging by the Spirit, then it is in the flesh and that judgment will come back on you. In Psalm 37:30 it says, "The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment." But for these particular instances, I knew I said what God wanted me to say and I thank Him for it. Now maybe there will be no more jury summons, but that is up to God. Amen.
