Persevering In Prayer
During the past seven weeks, (since my wreck), there have been some really powerful things going on in my heart that God has been setting me free from, and it is still going on almost daily. The more I pray (which is hours a day), the more the Spirit of God brings things up out of me, and at times it has been quite uncomfortable, to say the least! Years back when I would pray and things would start coming up out of my heart, I would think, "I felt better before I prayed, and now I feel like a dog!" But I finally learned that it is good when you have enough faith to pray and bring things up out of your heart - but to keep on persevering in prayer, until you overcome those 'dog feelings'. Most people quit praying before they overcome and get the victory, and I am sure that is what would happen to me, but the day came where I would continue to pray, believing, until I would overcome. And what a difference it made!
But getting back to the past several weeks.... during this time, Doyle has on different occasions spoken things to me in due season, as it states in Isaiah 50:4, "The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary...". (Not that I was weary, but it was things that I needed to hear at a particular time.) Things he has spoken by the Spirit have either set my heart free from fear and unbelief, or encouraged me and ministered strength to my heart. One thing that the Lord never ceases to amaze me on, is how much 'mileage' He will get out of every single situation! So I am going to share several things with you that have been going on...
As of this day, I still have not received my car back and was told over a week ago it would be ready (but I should have it back any day!). On Monday, (Jan.11th), the week we were going to Joplin, Missouri, I called and talked with the guy who is dealing with my car at the body shop. He told me it would be ready that Wednesday (the 13th), or at the latest, Thursday. Wednesday comes - and it is not ready. Thursday comes - the same thing - still not ready. I informed him we would be out of town until Friday night, so I would be in on Saturday morning at 10:00 to pick it up. I went in - and you guessed it - I was told it was still not ready. The same thing was being said to me each time (although later I was informed that even though it sounded like the same thing being said, it involved different things being done to the car). There had been some delays on getting certain parts in, the battery had gone dead while being taken to the place for the top (roof) to be put back on - so they lost their place in line, then when it would be taken to the service department to be checked out, they would find something else wrong, etc. (This was no 'fender-bender' wreck, either. What started out as a $7000 - $8000 job, has turned into a $12,000 - $13,000 repair cost, as of the other day - more repair costs have been incurred even since then.)
But this past Monday (the 18th), I called Brian and he told me I should be able to pick the car up around 4:00 that afternoon, but to call first. So I did, and it was still not ready. I kept my cool, although I did speak plain to him, as I had in the past, but when I got off the phone - I lost it! When JR came home, I told him what was going on, and up 'out of my heart' came something that I will not repeat, because it might offend some 'religious' hearts. But there was anger (probably the law - it does say the law worketh wrath!) - and it was in my heart - and it did come out. I mean I could feel this 'stuff' inside of me - and it did not feel good at all - but thank God it came out!! Later that night I told the Lord that I didn't care 'if' or 'when' I got my car back, if He didn't. He was probably waiting for my heart to come to that place to begin with. (I have had a rent car the entire time, which I have been very thankful for, no doubt, but I was just ready to get my car back.) But since that came out of my heart, it has not fazed me a bit when they tell me the car is still not ready. I overcame being bothered!
Then there has been the fear and unbelief that has been manifesting in me that has been incredible (and it is wicked). There have been cars coming at me in every direction, and on a couple of occasions driving to church at night, by the time I would get there my flesh would literally be trembling (because of things I will not go into any details on). This past Wednesday night (the 20th), God by the Spirit, started ministering Psalm 23 to me. And where it says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death", I spoke out loud "I WILL FEAR NO EVIL"....... That night when I got home from church, I got on the bed and I read Psalm 23 over and over and over, and did the same thing the next day. I just kept praying that Psalm!! One thing I know is that I am getting through all of this by the mercy and grace of God. When Jesus was raised from the dead, He put off every one of these things, and I can too, and am - it just has not gone as fast as I would like it to. But I know I am overcoming and that is all that counts. Like I said earlier, God will get all the 'mileage' He can out of each and every situation.
This past Sunday night at church, Doyle had been talking some more about the occult. He did something he rarely does, and that was he asked for everyone to close their eyes, and then he asked if there was anyone there who had talked to the dead, and if so, to raise their hand. I did not raise my hand, and afterwards I wondered why I didn't - because I knew what I had done at that slumber party about 'Mary Worth' (see my testimony on "Purifying A People Unto Himself"), but I still did not know who she was, or if she was even a real person. But I was thinking to myself, "Do I have some pride and is that why I could not raise my hand, or was this 'Mary Worth' just not a real person?" (I knew I had not talked to any dead relatives, or anyone else for that matter.) So before leaving, I stopped and shared this with Doyle. The next day I got on the computer and was determined to find out anything I could about 'Mary Worth', and sure enough I found her on there. Believe it or not, she is a cartoon character! I was relieved, to say the least. But what I know, is that it was still witchcraft and superstition that we did at those parties, and it brought curses on my life and it definitely was an abomination to God. It just blessed me to know that that was God in me that did not let me put my hand up, because He knew I had not talked with the dead. All of these occult practices are of the devil, for sure, and the things listed in Deuteronomy 18 are all an abomination to Him. But thank God that when Jesus died, was buried and rose again, He forgave us of every one of these things. And as we believe (trust in, rely on and adhere to) that power, Jesus will set our hearts free from all of the works of these practices - and that is the love and mercy of God!
Just a few days ago, God started delivering my heart of things that were spoken to me in elementary school out of teacher's mouths, about not being able to comprehend well and not being able to retain, or remember, certain things. (This would show up especially on tests.) In school I made straight 'A's' until I was in 5th grade, and after that I made 'A's and B's', but on certain tests, I would 'bomb out' - I can see alot of it was fear, too. I believed what they said, and this has been imbedded in my intellect for all these years, and God is delivering me from those 'lies'. When lies are spoken to you, if you do not resist the devil in faith, they will get in your heart and soul (the soul being the will, intellect and emotions) and bind you up. I also said last time that God had ministered to me (about Travis) that God made man and called him good - not slow - not immature - not dumb, and so now God is speaking this to me about ME. Thank God! These spirits are not the easiest to overcome, especially when they were ministered to you 30 or so years back, but Jesus overcame them, so we can, and that encourages me to press forward. I reminded the Lord, and do frequently, of Acts 3:7&16 where the man was immediately made 'perfectly sound', and that is what I am after - perfect soundness in my spirit, soul and body. That seems an impossibility to the mind, but my spirit knows this to be true, and I will see it manifest in my life!
Last night, God brought a scripture up in my spirit - and it is in II Corinthians 10:5. It talks about bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Not every thought that I have had lately has been faith in my heart, and there is some correction going on because of it. If you entertain these thoughts, (and I know they can either be in your heart or Satan can speak things to you), you will end up believing them and being convinced of them. But what you have to do, is change what you think, to what God says about you. When you feel totally encompassed with fear - believe that Jesus said He has not given you a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound (disciplined) mind. And that He would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies, might serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness, all the days of our life. When you think you cannot do anything because you feel so bound by the powers of darkness, believe that Jesus said - We can do all things, through Christ which strengtheneth us. And that in weakness, His strength is made perfect.
I pray this will encourage you in whatever situation you are in - and to keep persevering in prayer (in faith) and believing the gospel to deliver you, as He is me. God is faithful to deliver us from ALL unrighteousness. The work He has begun, He will complete it until the coming of the Lord Jesus, and I do thank Him for that! Praise God.
God bless you, and I will see you, or talk to you later on the internet!!!
